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Ineffective communication may have caused the initial disconnect, in one or more of your relationships. While self-guilt and resentment enlarged the distancing.

These fears are formed with energy drawn from your spark which becomes penned-up in unresolved challenges, conflict, and trauma. Most of us, may have experienced confusion, loss, alienation, bullying, mental and physical aggression amongst many other experiences which created reasonable, and unreasonable fears, which feed unhealthy beliefs about ourselves and others.

Our personal identity includes our physical image, our age, our place within the family, and how we were raised by our parents, or caregivers.  

All these factors influence our personality, which in turn influences our identity. It is sort of the case of which came first the chicken or the egg?