- Remember the good times
- Put yourself in their shoes
- Focus on the real issue
You want to be heard and understood so does everyone else. When misunderstandings muddle things up remember that empathy can show the other person that you relate to how they are feeling.
Whatever your thinking, feeling, or going through is important to you, it matters to you. Seek to understand how others feel because it matters to them.
Others can see your vulnerability when you yell, act meanly, or try to control the situation. Instead next time you feel vulnerable own your feelings and clarify what you think. Instead of blaming the other person, acknowledge how you feel. For example: "I feel excluded when you don't include me in making plans". Choose to be peaceful when you communicate giving the other person an opportunity to voice their point of view.
Remember that as Paul Boese said, "Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future."